I had a big victory this past week that I'm feeling good about and wanted to share.
Last year, after my Whole30 and Whole14, when I was feeling pretty body positive and happy about my thinner form, I bought some very skinny jeans from Buffalo Exchange. They fit, just barely, but I still had to hop around to get them to zip up, and I wore flowy tops to disguise the small muffin top they created. Still, I was proud that I could wear them.
Similarly, on my birthday last year, my partner bought me this fab (and ridiculous) pair of star spangled acid wash cutoff shorts to wear for the 4th of July. This was another item of "aspirational" clothing, i.e. clothing that makes you say Well, this barely fits, but when I get even SKINNIER, I'll be able to wear it comfortably.
You guys, aspirational clothing is lame. It doesn't really fit, making you uncomfortable, which then triggers anxiety about your physical discomfort. Because having pants that are too tight can only make you feel bad and enormous and like a failure. No bueno. If you feel bad wearing something all the time? You should get rid of it.
Aspirational clothing is more insidious than clothing you've grown out of (though you should get rid of that too). With clothing you've grown out of, it can be a sign that maybe you've espoused some less-than-healthy habits due to stress. Or, dude, maybe it's just that you've decide to embrace a fuller frame, and right on to that! Anyway, growing out of clothing can be information that you can act on, or not. Buying clothes you've never comfortably fit into in the first place? Dumb, and not helpful. You deserve better than that.
And so do I, so we took those 2 pairs of skinny jeans and cutoffs, along with a skirt I bought years ago, and some other stuff that was too big/small, or not my style anymore, to Goodwill.
And it was a little scary, but I did it.
The little voice in my head was like, That's it. You're consigning yourself to be fat forever! But I told it to STFU, because I am more than just what pants I fit into at any given point. For all I know, those pants are cut funny. And even when I could wear them, it wasn't really comfortable. They didn't make me feel like the hotness - they made me feel like I was struggling to keep up. Fuck That.
I might get small enough to wear them again, who knows? But I want goals based on performance, strength, and speed, not on textiles.