Pregnancy, even a short one, changes a lot about your body. Since there aren't a ton of resources out there about what you can expect after pregnancy loss, I'm writing one, so that maybe some awesome lady out there may be spared the embarrassment and shock that I experienced. I warn you - it will have a very frank discussion of bodies, and if you have issues with the female body and all the rad stuff it does, git.
Necessary disclaimer: I am not a health professional in any capacity. For anything medical, please see your healthcare provider or physician. I'm writing this as one friend to another. Your experience may be different from mine.
Here are some things that may happen to you after your loss:
Bleeding - this is the most common one. Depending on how your body miscarries or the elective procedures you experience, there may be a lot, or there may just be a little. Either way, only use pads to deal with this. Nothing insertable. Your bod needs time to heal afterwards. You'll probably have a check-up with your doctor 2-3 weeks or so after your loss. Wait to use anything insertable until after that appointment. (This also includes sex. And, weirdly, baths. The idea is to minimize the risk of infection to healing parts.)
Lactation - this was, by far, the most uncomfortable and embarrassing one for me. My obgyn said it "might" happen, but gave me no advice on how to deal with it, and since it was my first pregnancy, I had no idea what to do. It's a very sad thing, and caused a lot of feelings for me, plus it was uncomfortable. Here's what I did: wore a sports bra for compression, used cabbage leaves to minimize the risk of mastitis, took Pseudophedrine every day until the milk dried up, and expressed just a little in the shower every day to keep everything from getting blocked up. I won't lie - it sucked. I was so sad about it, plus the whole cabbage leaf thing was weird and sometimes uncomfortable. Though, it totally worked to minimize the engorgement, so whatever. Wearing a salad in your bra? A-OK!
Empty feelings - you go from being pregnant, round, and full, to being, well -- not, overnight. At 16 weeks, my body bounced back fairly quickly, but even that felt wrong and awful. Pregnancy had been uncomfortable, especially those last few days where I was going through silent contractions and didn't know. It felt traitorous to feel comfortable - to feel like "myself" again. That might be hard for you too. I'm sorry.
Hormones - your hormones will be pretty out of whack as your body adjusts. This will affect everything from your emotions to your hair. Give yourself some space for how raw you feel, and also how mercurial the coming and going of your feelings will be. Sometimes I'd find myself happy for no real reason, and feel traitorous to the baby - like I wasn't grieving "enough". It's okay. You're not being a traitor to your baby for feeling what you feel. This is a hard loss, maybe even the hardest. Give yourself space to feel whatever you feel. And don't blame yourself if you feel wonky or super emotional or you snap at a coworker. It happens.
Complex feelings about extra weight - You gain weight during pregnancy, even in the beginning, and you may have some left over after your loss. It's okay to have feelings about that. I know I do. It's so alienating, because your pre-pregnancy clothes don't fit, but you don't want to wear your maternity clothes, because it's a reminder of your loss. Plus, they make you look pregnant, and you don't want people to ask you about the baby. I wore leggings and stretchy jeans until the bloating was over with, then fit into some of my bigger clothes. And now I'm slowly readjusting down. Wear whatever is comfortable and give no fucks.
Hair loss - no lie, my hair is coming out. Not in big chunks or anything, but more comes out when I shampoo. It's sad, and obnoxious. I've mostly just been using a volumizing shampoo and getting really good at messy buns, but do what works for you.
Exhaustion - grief and recovery take a lot out of you. Totally fine to sleep more, and get the rest you need. I'm a very active and engaged person, and getting back into my normal routine helped me recover a lot, but I also constantly have to remind myself that it's okay to take it a little more easy - at work, at the gym, at home, in life.
You are hurting. I am sorry. Truly. It sucks, I know. The one thing I did that helped was to give myself permission to do what I needed to do in any given moment. To feel my feelings, take care of myself, nuture myself in whatever ways possible. And it helped. I pulled myself out of the hole, little by little. Grief is everlasting, but the really soul-sucking kind doesn't last forever. I would say that the acuteness of my sorrow has faded some with time. Tomorrow, it will be one month since we lost our baby. I think of it every day. I miss it every day. But I can also see the blooming plum trees every day, feel the sun, and accept the love of my friends and family. You'll get there.