Ambivalent Whiteboard — Super Balanced

I have a lot of feelings about the whiteboard at CrossFit.

In general, I'd say that making goals and benchmarks can be a good thing, if those goals and benchmarks are clear and actionable. Most people find measurable success fulfilling. In many ways, I'm a "goals person."

That said, some goals and benchmarks make people feel real shitty. The scale is the first big one I can think of. Your weight fluctuates so much every day, and usually due to factors you may or may not have a lot of control over, like hormones and hydration. Measurements, same thing: you might be bloated or constipated or naked or a never-nude. There's a lot of factors, you know?

The whiteboard is a place where you write down your scores for the workout at CrossFit. And theoretically, I can see how it's useful: you can keep track of the weights and times you did so that you know what to do if we do a similar workout later (especially true on the app for it, I guess, because it's searchable?) You can monitor progress.

But I usually write down my big benchmarks, like 1- or 3- or 5-rep maxes in my notebook, along with my times for benchmark WODs, and other movements. The whiteboard gets erased every day, and I don't use the app, so... what purpose does it have for me?

I've been thinking about this a lot lately, because I've been feeling bad about what I write down there. I'm coming back from a year and half off for pregnancy and childbirth, and my scores just aren't what they were in 2013-2014. Plus, I can't help but compare myself to everyone else when it's side-by-side like that, which is a recipe for terrible comparison-is-the-thief-of-joy level brain antics.

What should it matter what my score is? I know internally that I do my best every time we work out. I'm too type-A not to. Especially now that I have a kid, and any time away from her needs to feel worthwhile to me.

I don't know. I just feel kind of ambivalent about using the whiteboard now. Is it a way to record success for me? Or a tool I'm using for my own oppression?

It's just a whiteboard, but it feels so loaded.

What do you think? I don't usually ask questions, because blog posts that end with a question feel a little pandering when done too often, but I am really curious this time. What tools do you use to measure success? Are they just your goals, or do they have other peoples' scores on them too? And how do you feel about that?